Late last week, the news came out that Ian Somerhalder and Nikki Reed had done a podcast with their OB/GYN, Dr. Berlin, in which Ian admitted flushing Nikki’s birth control pills down the toilet while they were on a vacation in Spain. He admitted he popped them out individually, that he presented her with a handful of pills, and that their friend taped Nikki hyperventilating and freaking out. Nikki answered the question “when did you decide to have a kid?” with “Oh yeah when you threw out all my birth control pills.” Ian went into a spiel about how it was a mutual decision with their two best friends who were in Barcelona with them at the time. Even if Nikki agreed wholeheartedly, it was still up to her whether and when to stop taking her birth control pills. She also admitted that she didn’t realize she was being taped back then.
It sounded controlling and abusive to me and many of you schooled me on reproductive coercion, which is an abuser tactic where men tamper with birth control to deliberately cause pregnancy. Well Nikki and Ian heard the feedback on Ian’s frankly disturbing story about him unilaterally deciding to get rid of Nikki’s birth control. They’ve issued an apology which makes this whole thing sound mutual. They tweeted and Instagrammed this.
At the end of that exchange they’re defending, Ian even said “Now that I’m thinking about it I guess I kind of decided it. That’s really how it happened.” Only now it’s a mutual decision. Nikki also sent out a bunch of tweets getting outraged at people for “twisting” the interview, which she called “funny.”
We’re seeing a famous woman in denial. This is why we need to have these conversations. This is why women need to understand that it’s not normal, ok or loving for a partner to throw out birth control pills, to refuse to wear condoms, to slip off condoms midway through sex or to tamper with condoms to cause pregnancy. When you’re in an abusive and controlling relationship these things happen to you and you gradually become accustomed to them. You think this is ok, you think he must really love you to care so much and that other people don’t understand. The sooner you realize that this is happening, the sooner you grasp the amount of control he has over you and how often you’re anxious and on edge trying to anticipate how he’ll react, the sooner you can reclaim yourself and your life.
Update: I missed this explanation Nikki posted prior to the tweets above. I did listen to the podcast and she did sound unbothered during the broadcast, but that’s how she ended up in a long term relationship with Ian isn’t it? She admitted she was hyperventilating when it happened to her, and she admitted that it was Ian’s decision. That’s all clear cut to me.
These are photos of Ian and Nikki at the Environmental Media Association’s 27th Annual EMA Awards, where they were presenters, on 9-23. Nikki continues to look gorgeous in retro floral dresses with full length sleeves. Ian continues to look creepy AF.
photos credit: PacificCoastNews
