As we unfortunately know, the FCC repealed net neutrality last Thursday because three of the commissioners are horrible people who want to bring down Obama’s progress (I’m paraphrasing, of course). Immediately, as we all – including the FCC – knew would happen, states declared intent to sue over the ruling. At least 18 states are taking this to court so far:
Ajit Pai, the FCC chair whose championed ending net neutrality, attempted to do something by way of alleviating our fears. I say “something” because I think this is an attempt at damage control but it is so arrogant, tone-deaf, patronizing and just plain stupid that I really don’t know what to call it. A turd. That’ what it is, a big ol’ turd:
If you couldn’t stomach his bs, in the ‘PSA’ he maintains that folks will still be able to “gram” their food, take selfies with pets, buy stuff, watch videos, play into fandoms and “drive memes right into the ground” By way of example, Ajit, who apparently fancies himself clever, acted each out in vapid vignettes. For the fandom blurb, it showed him wielding a lightsaber like a Jedi and for the meme bit, he plays Harlem Shake with a group of uncoordinated dancers.
The problem was that he completely misread the pulse of the nation. He thinks those in favor of net neutrality are just whining because their videos won’t load quick enough. But Mark Hamill gets it and also knows a helluva lot more about Jedis that this pretentious twit:
*tee hee* Get ‘em, Luke! It’s a great response. In addition to pointing out the lack of integrity, he emphasized Ajit and co.’s practice of taking what they want, like John Williams’ theme music.
Then it got weird. Or weirder, I should say. For some reason, Ted Cruz elected himself the spokesperson who should respond to Mark. I don’t even think the people who support Cruz would have elected him to do this. And he failed spectacularly:
Schooling Luke Skywalker on Star Wars ideology maybe isn’t the best tactic. What’s that phrase about not bringing a knife to a gunfight? So, Mark responded, beginning by asking Cruz to spell his name correctly and ending by referencing Cruz’s infamous liked porn tweet:
Obviously, I am on Mark’s side in the beef. Cruz took a swing and missed. Mark responded with as much pettiness as Cruz so I’m fine with it. Plus, Mark’s response was funny – point, Skywalker.
But Cruz wasn’t done. Never one to acknowledge when he’s been bested, he thought he’d shame Mark instead – and did so once again using Star Wars:
As they said on Pajiba about this, “Never quote the prequels, Ted. GOD.”
“Rather than insults?” Who was the one to imply Mark couldn’t grasp which side of net neutrality he was on because he was an actor? Oh, and #45’s first born made an @ss of himself again:
If you read the comments, you can see how well that went over. Note to fascist sympathizers: take any Star Wars reference out of your mouth. Forever. It’s not for you.
And as for Ajit, Luke Skywalker isn’t the only one coming for him. Baauer, who wrote Harlem Shake, says he didn’t okay his song being used and plans to go after Ajit for it. Go Baauer:
My lovely fellow Celebitches, I am off to the UK for the holiday so I bid you adieu for a bit. Whatever you celebrate or observe, may your week bring you peace and hopefully some joy as well. From me and mine to you and yours: the best of the season to you all. Kaiser, CB and Corey will be here for your holiday gossip.
Photo credit: WENN Photos, YouTube and Twitter
